Having survived through the chaos loving a beautiful soul/struggling addict, I found this video which portrays the life of chaos perfectly in under 3 minutes. Although this man still struggles with his addiction on his own journey, I pray for him everyday and the love that I have for him as a person hasn't wavered. I hope that all those who have lost someone to the insidious grips of addiction find this as equally poignant and moving as I did.
~Love and Light
When my last relationship ended, I was left with not only a huge house load of painful memories, but some of his 'unwanted' pieces of personal belongings. One of these was a hot-pink dresser that was in very ill-repair that had belonged to his young daughter. We had rescued it from going to the dump with the intention of re-doing it for her again. That never happened, and it ended up being a big pink reminder of a life that never transpired.
The dresser became my Kryptonite: even looking at it brought me to tears, but I really liked the 'shape' of the dresser. My initial thought was to finish the dresser and to deliver it to his ex with the intention of giving it back to his daughter..
What I decided to do instead was to embrace the painful memories and work through them while I worked on the dresser, refinishing it to be a TV stand and storage for my artwork and craft supplies. At first I was uncomfortable as I ruminated about my lost relationship while I began the stripping and sanding process.. what I found though, was that I was able to understand these feelings from an objective point of view as the physical attention to the task at hand was actually keeping me grounded. It was very cathartic and from the release of emotions that came simply from a deeper understanding of not only our 'relationship', but the role we each played, and the emotions that were present, I was able to lift the veil to reveal what lay underneath; exposed slowly along with what the layers of stripped paint were revealing.
Ironically, what I discovered was that what was underneath was not of great value.. this goes for both the dresser and my relationship.. both were built on a cheap foundation and covered up with superficial facades.
I've been taking my time with this old dresser. It is not solid wood and has layers of veneer that are in rough shape. I know that if I patch it properly with some good products that come from a solid understanding of repair, I can still create a piece that not only looks good esthetically, but will be functional as well.. it will serve a purpose.
My relationship is now understood the same way. With this process, I was able to peel away the layers of deception to expose what really lay underneath, and it wasn't easy to look at. This took some courage to admit to what was my stuff and what was his. It meant being authentic and standing in my truth, understanding that which I had no control over, and letting the universe deal with that energy naturally on its own. It meant I had to take a back seat to the human experience and go deeper in my understanding, and find the appreciation that existed there. And I found it.
This old, cheaply made dresser has a style of its own. It may not be perfect or of high quality, but it is functional and does what its supposed to do... act as a vessel of storage for expressions of my emotions.
Here's to making new memories and up-cycling the old painful ones.
~ Love and light
Mother Earth is an amazing spectacle of miracles in every form... whether the lighting, the flora and fauna, the scenery, the natural wonders. There is something innately soothing about being connected to the outdoors, and if you've ever heard of Earthing, you will understand why this is. There is a natural exchange of ions that occurs from the earth into our bodies through our feet, etc when we stand on the 'earth'.. the earth helps to balance out the negative ions in our bodies, leading to a healthier internal environment; truly becoming 'grounded'. Science has backed these claims and we know the importance of this connection.
Disease and strife have increased steadily as we've encompassed our selves in concrete jungles: cities. We've 'disconnected' ourselves from our healthy earth by placing man-made materials between us and the earth's surface: asphalt, concrete, floors, linoleum, metal, the soles of our shoes.. all of these, a barrier between the natural, and necessary flow of energy between us and the earth.
I saw an article the other day and was rendered speechless by what it said... it was a survey to find out whether Vancouverites (in Vancouver, Canada) were for or against having WiFi available in parks around the lower mainland.. surprising amounts of people were for the idea! I was stunned! The idea of filling our few natural remaining spaces with radiation waves is so appalling, but even more so, that the majority don't seem to care what we're exposing ourselves to, as well as the flora and fauna in our warped desire to stay technologically 'connected' 24/7.
The true connection that we should be discussing is one that is void of technology, harmful waves of radiation from WiFi, cell phone towers, microwaves, Televisions and computers. It is one thing to honor the advancement of the human existence and our ability to create amazing technologies, but we must find a balance between greed and need, from a holistic perspective.
For more on the importance of Earthing, visit the Earthing Institute online.
When people think of forgiveness, they often relate it to the act of forgiving another person who may have slighted them or mistreated them in some way. Where the true power of forgiveness can be felt, however, is in the ability to forgive one's self for thoughts that bind them to unhealthy habits, fears or beliefs, or even forgiving 'God' or your Higher Power for events or situations that were never in your control.
Forgiveness is an act that defies our nature to be defensive; in and of itself, these defensive behaviours served us well when Sabre Toothed tigers were lurking around outside the cave front, threatening to eat our food and our children, but in today's day and age, these reactive behaviours no longer service us. What we have evolved to requires a much more evolved way of thinking, and part of that thinking process is the refined art of forgiving.
To forgive is to let go of any expectations that the past once held for you. Forgiving means that acceptance takes its place; accepting that one is powerless to change that which one cannot change, and to accept all that is with love and trust that all is exactly as it is meant to be.
This is a really hard concept to wrap our primitively wired brain around; exponentially perplexing when there is emotional attachment to other beings involved.
Trying to remove one's Self from the equation of wrong-doings and reactions takes much insight, reflection and introspection. These are skills that we should be focusing on in our hectic, busy, materialistic and consumer-driven lifestyles, and teaching our children, who face a rapidly changing future for their children and their grandchildren. Focusing on that which we can control releases us from being imprisoned by that which we cannot. Acknowledging things that we are unhappy about or dissatisfied with is healthy, but dwelling there and obsessing or ruminating about something that one has no control over is a waste of perfectly good energy that could be used to manifest some amazing miracles into one's life.
The most profound thing about forgiveness is that it is comprised of the exact same energy that the manifestation of hate, revenge, and anger are borne from; so now ,knowing that, if one had a choice of taking that one seed, and just through conscious choice, growing an apple tree or a thistle weed, why would you not choose to grow the apple tree?
Approaching life with a heart open and filled with love is how these seemingly impossible changes to our concrete ways of old-thinking miraculously occur. This starts with an awareness of the negative thought train that starts in the brain. Once that can be immediately identified, the brakes can be applied before that train runs out of control and derails into a twisted, ugly mess.
Choosing to be content and peace-filled counterbalances the busy lives in which we all live. Making conscious choices in how we perceive events in our life is the starting point to manifesting these choices. It isn't long after that the body and the brain will prefer the 'feel good moments' that come with those thoughts, and automatically want to go there, naturally, on their own. It's a journey worth traveling and a healthy lifestyle change that would do the world some good.
Registered Psychiatric Nurse, Supportive Energy Therapy Practitioner, Yoga Instructor, Chartered Herbalist, AcuDetox Specialist, Personal Trainer, Entrepreneur, mom of three..
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